Being a Cancer on cusp of Leo, my family life is an important, magnified part of my life... it makes sense then that I came into this life with issues to be overcome with family members... along with this, getting attention is important as a Leo....
My parents divorced in my freshman year of high school around Christmas time... my mother had been sick for most of my life... when I was born she almost died, when I was a toddler she had panic attacks and other people had to take care of me and my brother, and then when I was in 6th grade she had breast cancer........... then my parents split up, she moved into a condo a few minutes away... a lot of things changed...
I would definitely say that my life is probably much better this way than it would have been if she had stayed... but I have a lot of hurt I'm ready to release... I always had this connection with my mom... pretty much, when she suffers, I suffer more... and I've tried to talk to her about it but she's like a toddler taking a tantrum (picture: a toddler plugging their ears and stomping their feet saying "I cannn'tttt heearrr yoouuu")... she'll then ignore me for days. She has no problem not talking to me for weeks...
I refuse to live like this anymore... crying because my mom doesn't love me the way I think she should... I'm now 22... she moved out 8yrs ago... and she doesn't call my brother and I over to spend time with her, she expects us to contact her... but she likes to be needed and when there are children out there without mothers, she helps them... which is good, but its funny, where are your own kids?
I've been lighting a candle everynight before bed and I saw "I forgive you, mom" ... and I tell my angels I'm ready to release this... I know how I sound, I apologize for sounding so angry... I feel this in my heart/stomach energy centers... I'm so nautious...
My parents divorced in my freshman year of high school around Christmas time... my mother had been sick for most of my life... when I was born she almost died, when I was a toddler she had panic attacks and other people had to take care of me and my brother, and then when I was in 6th grade she had breast cancer........... then my parents split up, she moved into a condo a few minutes away... a lot of things changed...
I would definitely say that my life is probably much better this way than it would have been if she had stayed... but I have a lot of hurt I'm ready to release... I always had this connection with my mom... pretty much, when she suffers, I suffer more... and I've tried to talk to her about it but she's like a toddler taking a tantrum (picture: a toddler plugging their ears and stomping their feet saying "I cannn'tttt heearrr yoouuu")... she'll then ignore me for days. She has no problem not talking to me for weeks...
I refuse to live like this anymore... crying because my mom doesn't love me the way I think she should... I'm now 22... she moved out 8yrs ago... and she doesn't call my brother and I over to spend time with her, she expects us to contact her... but she likes to be needed and when there are children out there without mothers, she helps them... which is good, but its funny, where are your own kids?
I've been lighting a candle everynight before bed and I saw "I forgive you, mom" ... and I tell my angels I'm ready to release this... I know how I sound, I apologize for sounding so angry... I feel this in my heart/stomach energy centers... I'm so nautious...
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New Jersey
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Re: I'm learning to live w/o you now... but I miss you sometimes.
Sun, October 22, 2006 - 8:52 AMConsider the possibility that your mother doesn't love herself, which means that as much as she can she loves you. You have to love yourself enought to recognize that and accept it, whether you decide to do anything based on that idea is up to you.
Blessings.
(P.S. I have a similar relationship with my dad, who has even called me long distance to tell me he's dissapointed in me for something I did 30 years ago. It is absurd to take that kind of thing personal, though I did for a minutes. Later I found out he had just had an argument with my brother before he called me.)
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Re: I'm learning to live w/o you now... but I miss you sometimes.
Mon, January 22, 2007 - 7:59 PMHi Kristin,
I too am Cancer /leo cusp. I was born on the 22 with the Sun @29.35 deg. Cancer. One thing I noticed in your post was the obvious love you have for your parents.
I was taught about Karma thru life. Sometimes I would come into realtionship and wanted it to be so much better than it was. Long after the relationship changed, usually by someone becoming unapproachable or leaving my life, I would discover that there was so much I did not appreciate. I had been judging the relationship based on my desires instead of loving the person for who they were.
yes, I have a right to improve my life and expect certain behaviors for people around me. But now I see that all my wishing does not change 'what is.' It is times like this that I have learned to value 'what is' more and more. Instead of chasing after my desires and allowing the lack of something in my life to bring me down, I have to go on and accept what is and love it. Other wise I waste my life wishing for 'what is not.'
In either case.....I still love. And I see this in you :)
You will find that by increasing your attention and love for your Mother you will give her energy. By having patience for her, you give her space to grow. By accepting her as she is, you allow her to change :) By these points of viewing your Mother in the relationship as it is, you empower one of your soul familly to realize the beauty of who you have grown to be :)
Kristin, you are at a real cross road with this issue. I support your decisions and your attempts to love and be loved.
If there is something you want, give that very thing to another. If you want to be loved, then give that love....it will return to you many times over :)
peace
fox
